Love story, 'Bridegroom,' sends a message to a nation
It's about the classic themes of love and loss, but with the added twist of the lovers being gay and unable to marry at the time. It makes a powerful point for marriage and equal rights and also for parents accepting their children. After Bridegroom's death, the film details, his Indiana parents, who had trouble accepting their son's homosexuality, denied Crone access to the funeral and cut off access to Bridegroom's records and papers, though the two had shared a home and a business.
Veteran TV producer Linda Bloodworth Thomason ("Designing Women") was moved to make the film after she saw a 10-minute YouTube tribute to Bridegroom, "It Could Happen to You," which Crone posted in May 2012, a year after the accident.
We talked to Crone, 27, during a recent visit to Chicago. This is an edited transcript of our conversation.
Q. What's the lesson of the film? What do you want people to come out of the theater, or off of their couch, /away/ with?
A. I just hope this film helps parents understand their children better, and I hope it helps people struggling with their identity to not be ashamed of who they are and to be proud and show that love is love and loss is loss, and at the end of the day we all just want to be happy and that everyone deserves that.
I guess the main goal was to open hearts and minds of people who maybe don't know anyone who's gay, personally. So you kind of put a face to a lot of these human rights issues. That's one thing the director felt passionate about: She wanted people to come face to face with who and what they're opposing. I feel like a lot of times it's harder for people to hate something that has a face to it.
Q. You see that in the film, the journey of your family in particular.
A. My family's really not that different from Tom's family in a lot of ways. I honestly think that my dad and Tom's dad could be friends. But my family has been completely supportive of me and our relationship, which I didn't always know that they would. It's a powerful message to show the difference it makes in kids' lives when parents love them unconditionally.
Q. I think it was your dad in the film who said something like, "I realize I'm not making any more kids. I'd better stay in good with the ones I have."
A. My dad struggled with it a little bit. I'm like the only son, and, of course, they would prefer that I wasn't gay. But at some point they have to either accept it, like he's saying, or not. I'm grateful that he accepted me.
Q. While we're talking about family, the film paints a pretty rough portrait of Tom's family, especially the actions after his death. What do you want people to take away about them?
A. I don't want people just focusing on Tom's parents and just being angry with them. I want people to be inspired and to maybe help parents like Tom's understand their kids better. I felt very strongly, so did Linda, that we didn't want to paint this picture of them as evil people. We just wanted to tell the truth. What happened, happened. At some point I hope that they allow themselves to watch the film.
Q. The truth is pretty hard on them, and some of the reaction publicly to them has been harsh.
A. I wish them the best, and I don't know what it's like to lose a child, and I know that it probably hurt them. But I like to think they would be proud of the fact that their son is helping so many people, and his memory is living on.
Q. So Linda Bloodworth Thomason approached you about doing the film after seeing that video?
A. Right. And, ironically, Tom and I had met Linda and her husband at a friend's wedding. Fast-forward four years. She saw the video. She called me into her office. She said, "Shane, this is a story that needs to be told. It's a story that has unfortunately happened many, many times to thousands of people."
Q. You were all in right away?
A. I literally handed her all the footage we had. You know, our generation, we film everything. It's a little awkward. I never thought people would see a lot of the footage I shot. I mean, in high school my mom got me the video camera. The video diaries became like an outlet for me. I'd forgotten about a lot of them. There's some of them I wish I wouldn't have given, but I felt like I wanted her to have everything so she could tell it in the most effective way possible.
Q. That's part of the story, too, what you go through as a teenager trying to come to terms with yourself, especially in a conservative (Montana) community.
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